I am proud to announce the launch of my brand new, personal website:
http://www.alec-maynard.com/
I would like to extend an enormous thank you to Lukas de Saint-Clair for
building it from scratch for me. I owe him several beers and more. Working on
the website with him has really helped my writing career and has given me
something to focus on during tough times these last few weeks.
Other News:
- University is finished! With my final hand in due on Tuesday, my three
years at Winchester have concluded.
Now I can look forward to drinks with friends and writing until our results are
released later in July.
- Iron Earth is nearly ready. With the conclusion of University it is time
to for another redraft before the search for an agent begins. If you have any
luck to offer it will be most appreciated, or even better, if you have any
contacts to point in my direction that trumps luck any day.
- The Order, The Grand Hunt, The Bloody 13 and Virtually are in the works. I
will try to focus on each alongside Iron Earth as the year goes on. Keep
looking for updates here.
- More short stories on the way. I have three more in the works so look out for
them on my Booksie or Deviantart pages.
The future is so hazy that when I try to look ahead I am blind. All I can do is stretch out my arms and clumsily feel my way forwards.
Sunday, 6 May 2012
Monday, 23 April 2012
One in Two Rooms
Last night I had a dream that struck me so deeply that it left me numb. Most dreams are vague and impossible to recount however this one was especially vivid, completely engaging and rather surreal. Despite its poignancy it is still tough to put into words and may make little sense or won't come across the way it felt but it effected me enough to motivate me to try.
It began with me sitting in a room, waiting. It was an expansive and bright room with sliding patio doors, which allowed me to see out across a well kept plot of grass bathed in summer sunshine. I was there for a family holiday. I had arrived earlier with my girlfriend; we waited hand in hand. After some time, the family car pulled up and the rest of my relatives arrived; mum and dad, my brothers and grandma and grandpa. Dad entered the room to inform me that they were staying for the next three days and that they would be trying out all the rides that the resort had to offer -- this is one of those completely random dream elements; it makes little to no sense. From what I gathered we were in an all in one entertainment-theme park-resort-hotel-type-place. Obviously because of his frailty grandpa would stay in the shade of the waiting area were he would be content to sit and read his newspaper. I offered to keep him company whilst, with a deviously cute grin, my girlfriend took my younger brothers by the hand and led them out of a side door. Dad disappeared along with them and I was left alone wth my grandpa.
This was the point that the heavy metal and dubstep began the boom from speakers in the walls. My dear grandpa had always had trouble with his hearing for as long as had known him and the noise would make him agitated that blocked his hearing. He grumbled and fidgeted the way he always would, before becoming flustered and annoyed. I sat and watched him complain for them to 'turn the racket off', I likened him to a upturned tortoise. The noise continued unabated so he tried to stand up to leave. Grandpa always had the finest walking sticks but they alone weren't enough to help him stand up initially. I rushed over to help him but felt uncomfortable handling him, I helped him sit back down instead. He slowly calmed down and instead tried to talk to me. I told him how happy I was to see him then described my studies and what was happening in my life. I answered in tone louder than my comfortable speaking voice and still wasn't certain that he actually heard me but he nodded in appreciation and smiled and congratulated me on all my successes no matter how small -- he would always genuinely mean it too. I made him laugh and he took of his glasses to wipe the tears from his eyes, the same way he always did.
Soon my girlfriend returned - apparantly she had ridden on a chariot-log-chute-thingy - and I introduced her to grandpa as best I could over the music. He tried to compliment how beautiful she was and that he liked her dress and I nodded, grinning in agreement. He really liked her. She tried to respond but he couldn't really hear her. We continued our fractured conversation for a good while light faded from the window - I couldn't recall for the life of me what we spoke about, but it was a tender conversation - we had been in the room for hours, maybe even days, and the sky had turned into a warm thunderstorm.
I heard my grandma's voice call-out saying 'Michael' -- grandpa first name, in a high yet firm pitch that he would always hear. She told him it was time to go. This time with, a combined effort, we were able to raise him to his feet and he shuffled towards the door, walking sick in hand. He dissappeared past the door leaving me alone with my beloved girlfriend. She approached me, looking up at me with big pretty eyes -- I was a bit too tall for her. She then leant her head forwards and rested against my chest.
I embraced her, my actual chest burned and I could feel my heart thumping and my cheeks blushing. I was smiling I breathed deeply, inhaling the scent of her hair... it smelled musky...
... I began to wake and my heart sank. I wanted to cry out. I was lying in bed alone tightly clutching the corner of the duvet, which was pressed against my nose. I started to remember. I shut my eyes tightly and I was still alone in the room. Everyone had gone and there was nothing outside the window. I desperately searched for all of them but they were nowhere to be seen. I felt a tear on my cheek and opened my eyes once more. I thought I was still at home but I'm not, I'm in a my bedroom alone. My family isn't here. I don't have a girlfriend anymore, I may never see her again. I don't have a grandpa anymore, I won't ever see him again. They would never meet.
I lay staring at the wall. It was raining outside, a grey and damp morning. Eyes open or closed I'm alone with past caricatures as my only company.
It began with me sitting in a room, waiting. It was an expansive and bright room with sliding patio doors, which allowed me to see out across a well kept plot of grass bathed in summer sunshine. I was there for a family holiday. I had arrived earlier with my girlfriend; we waited hand in hand. After some time, the family car pulled up and the rest of my relatives arrived; mum and dad, my brothers and grandma and grandpa. Dad entered the room to inform me that they were staying for the next three days and that they would be trying out all the rides that the resort had to offer -- this is one of those completely random dream elements; it makes little to no sense. From what I gathered we were in an all in one entertainment-theme park-resort-hotel-type-place. Obviously because of his frailty grandpa would stay in the shade of the waiting area were he would be content to sit and read his newspaper. I offered to keep him company whilst, with a deviously cute grin, my girlfriend took my younger brothers by the hand and led them out of a side door. Dad disappeared along with them and I was left alone wth my grandpa.
This was the point that the heavy metal and dubstep began the boom from speakers in the walls. My dear grandpa had always had trouble with his hearing for as long as had known him and the noise would make him agitated that blocked his hearing. He grumbled and fidgeted the way he always would, before becoming flustered and annoyed. I sat and watched him complain for them to 'turn the racket off', I likened him to a upturned tortoise. The noise continued unabated so he tried to stand up to leave. Grandpa always had the finest walking sticks but they alone weren't enough to help him stand up initially. I rushed over to help him but felt uncomfortable handling him, I helped him sit back down instead. He slowly calmed down and instead tried to talk to me. I told him how happy I was to see him then described my studies and what was happening in my life. I answered in tone louder than my comfortable speaking voice and still wasn't certain that he actually heard me but he nodded in appreciation and smiled and congratulated me on all my successes no matter how small -- he would always genuinely mean it too. I made him laugh and he took of his glasses to wipe the tears from his eyes, the same way he always did.
Soon my girlfriend returned - apparantly she had ridden on a chariot-log-chute-thingy - and I introduced her to grandpa as best I could over the music. He tried to compliment how beautiful she was and that he liked her dress and I nodded, grinning in agreement. He really liked her. She tried to respond but he couldn't really hear her. We continued our fractured conversation for a good while light faded from the window - I couldn't recall for the life of me what we spoke about, but it was a tender conversation - we had been in the room for hours, maybe even days, and the sky had turned into a warm thunderstorm.
I heard my grandma's voice call-out saying 'Michael' -- grandpa first name, in a high yet firm pitch that he would always hear. She told him it was time to go. This time with, a combined effort, we were able to raise him to his feet and he shuffled towards the door, walking sick in hand. He dissappeared past the door leaving me alone with my beloved girlfriend. She approached me, looking up at me with big pretty eyes -- I was a bit too tall for her. She then leant her head forwards and rested against my chest.
I embraced her, my actual chest burned and I could feel my heart thumping and my cheeks blushing. I was smiling I breathed deeply, inhaling the scent of her hair... it smelled musky...
... I began to wake and my heart sank. I wanted to cry out. I was lying in bed alone tightly clutching the corner of the duvet, which was pressed against my nose. I started to remember. I shut my eyes tightly and I was still alone in the room. Everyone had gone and there was nothing outside the window. I desperately searched for all of them but they were nowhere to be seen. I felt a tear on my cheek and opened my eyes once more. I thought I was still at home but I'm not, I'm in a my bedroom alone. My family isn't here. I don't have a girlfriend anymore, I may never see her again. I don't have a grandpa anymore, I won't ever see him again. They would never meet.
I lay staring at the wall. It was raining outside, a grey and damp morning. Eyes open or closed I'm alone with past caricatures as my only company.
Thursday, 22 March 2012
Found and Lost
I found love. I wasn't sure it was possible for a person such as me, but I found it. I had promised myself I would never let someone else in again, because it would only lead to pain, but I heard the promises she made to me and I truely believed them and forgot my own. I lowered my guard and let her in. She replaced the cold iron with burning warmth, it felt incredible. The strength, the confidence, the knowing someone wholely believes in you, it was the best feeling.
I found happiness. What I had discovered was a creature who had been abandoned, outcast by family and friends and had been hurt over and over. I found her and swore, all of that would change if she followed me, I would protect her, keep her company and make sure she smiled again, everyday. She did, she began to smile, and through the new-found strength I had nurtured in her, I became strong. When she smiled at me I found myself smiling back. In providing her a harbour, I no longer felt alone, and every time I gazed at her pretty face I felt warm. For the first time in many many years, someone I loved cared for me completely. We were each others all.
I discovered meaning in life. In travelling thousands of miles, in indulging in her world, her embrace, her lips, I discovered the purpose of existing. True joy, true heartbeats, true tears. An experience I will never forget. A love and affection I had previously only read about and scoffed at but had never felt in the flesh before. Then the time came for us to part and I think I broke her heart but promised to return, to rediscover what we had given up. It wasn't to be enough.
I lost it all. I gave her my everything but I could never give enough, I relaxed for a second, I blinked and it was all gone, she disappeared so suddenly. Can I blame her? No, I never would, because I care too much and only ask myself why it didn't happen sooner. Now nothing remains but the memories, a dull pain in my chest and questions. So many questions...
What if we were better placed? What if I had held her faith? What if I had been more demanding? What if I had imposed more restrictions? What if I had sacrificed more? What if I had tried harder? What if I had been a stronger person? What if I was more interesting? What if I was funnier? What if I wasn't so powerless? What if I was enough for her, to fill her entire heart, the way she filled mine? What if... what if I was mean't to be alone.
Forsaken by love I lie in bed, on my own again - she promised I would never be. Memories and the shards of those broken promises remain. Tears smother my vision as I blink and try to sleep. There is only one person in the entire world who can save me from this, but she won't come to my aid. She won't remember. She may miss me but she still has love, she will still feel anothers warmth, she will be looked after, and she will only continue to grow as I deminish into nothing. I repaired her wings and set her free but she flew away.
There are now so many clouds, but not one silver lining among them. I have pride for what we achieved, yet it all seems cold, like a medal against my chest. Once again I must walk alone, with the vague hope she will pity me and return. The vain thought that she will remember what we have together; that our love still burns strong. That she will realise her mistake, change her mind and return to me. Unfortunately, she will move on, replace our loss with anothers love and learn to fear or tire of me - as my own unrequited longing will turn me insane. Can love ever return between two people when it is damaged? If you are reading this baby, my love, please find me again and we can try, I will be here waiting and hold no grudge. I miss you.
I guess broken men never attract affection. Broken men only sink, and right now I'm drowning.
I found happiness. What I had discovered was a creature who had been abandoned, outcast by family and friends and had been hurt over and over. I found her and swore, all of that would change if she followed me, I would protect her, keep her company and make sure she smiled again, everyday. She did, she began to smile, and through the new-found strength I had nurtured in her, I became strong. When she smiled at me I found myself smiling back. In providing her a harbour, I no longer felt alone, and every time I gazed at her pretty face I felt warm. For the first time in many many years, someone I loved cared for me completely. We were each others all.
I discovered meaning in life. In travelling thousands of miles, in indulging in her world, her embrace, her lips, I discovered the purpose of existing. True joy, true heartbeats, true tears. An experience I will never forget. A love and affection I had previously only read about and scoffed at but had never felt in the flesh before. Then the time came for us to part and I think I broke her heart but promised to return, to rediscover what we had given up. It wasn't to be enough.
I lost it all. I gave her my everything but I could never give enough, I relaxed for a second, I blinked and it was all gone, she disappeared so suddenly. Can I blame her? No, I never would, because I care too much and only ask myself why it didn't happen sooner. Now nothing remains but the memories, a dull pain in my chest and questions. So many questions...
What if we were better placed? What if I had held her faith? What if I had been more demanding? What if I had imposed more restrictions? What if I had sacrificed more? What if I had tried harder? What if I had been a stronger person? What if I was more interesting? What if I was funnier? What if I wasn't so powerless? What if I was enough for her, to fill her entire heart, the way she filled mine? What if... what if I was mean't to be alone.
Forsaken by love I lie in bed, on my own again - she promised I would never be. Memories and the shards of those broken promises remain. Tears smother my vision as I blink and try to sleep. There is only one person in the entire world who can save me from this, but she won't come to my aid. She won't remember. She may miss me but she still has love, she will still feel anothers warmth, she will be looked after, and she will only continue to grow as I deminish into nothing. I repaired her wings and set her free but she flew away.
There are now so many clouds, but not one silver lining among them. I have pride for what we achieved, yet it all seems cold, like a medal against my chest. Once again I must walk alone, with the vague hope she will pity me and return. The vain thought that she will remember what we have together; that our love still burns strong. That she will realise her mistake, change her mind and return to me. Unfortunately, she will move on, replace our loss with anothers love and learn to fear or tire of me - as my own unrequited longing will turn me insane. Can love ever return between two people when it is damaged? If you are reading this baby, my love, please find me again and we can try, I will be here waiting and hold no grudge. I miss you.
I guess broken men never attract affection. Broken men only sink, and right now I'm drowning.
Monday, 23 January 2012
Iron Earth: Stage One Complete!
It is on this fine day that the first draft of my first novel, Iron Earth, is finally complete... again. It has only been six years coming but now, in the comforting warmth of Winchester Universities learning cafe, that the last word of the short story ending, The Nurse (Or The Cure, undecided) has been written. Thus begins the second draft. Here is a section by section breakdown of what still needs to be done:
The Tramp: I am very happy with this story, and on the whole it will remain unchanged. This was the first part that I wrote and seeing as I was seventeen/eighteen when I started; it is the part that will require the most rewriting from a technical point of view. There is also a few details to be added in the middle to help make the ending make more sense (The underground homeless network needs clarifying, for those who have read it.). However the plot and the characters I am happy with.
The Father: Will be renamed The Psychologist. This story is the strongest at the moment in terms of writing style and story elements. It needs little in the way of rewriting or changing but simply minor details to make it line up with the new ending.
The Siyon: Will be renamed The Gangster. Siyon is an English translation of the number four in Japanese and was part of an elaborate rank scheme for Arius's gang, which is no longer relevant. Oh and that’s right Arian is now Arius (In retrospect Ethan, Jonathan and Arian wasn't going to work, so they are now Ethan, Jon and Arius.). And I'm contemplating giving Arius a sex change; it may make things more interesting. Stylistically the writing will need some work but not much - unlike The Tramp - however, it will need the most changing plot wise, as there are many aspects that I am unhappy with. And some parts that are silly/weird/need elaboration.
The Nurse/Cure: This needs reworking and an extra 2000 or so words for the second draft, but for now I am working on it as part of my Creative Writing course so it is in good hands. I feel it works as a tie for the three novellas and leaves options open for a sequel!
Overall changes and other bits: There are several aspects throughout which will need altering in each story to create a better overarching theme. The multiple news stories will be more focused and mainly relating to the IDV4 disease; eluding to the climax of the book. I need to finally sort out the day and night structure of the planet, finally determining how long half-light lasts etc.
There are other small parts that need to be written, between each of the four stories is a spacer page, which will range from an informational poster about IDV4 to the entry sequence to incoming arrivals to Iron Earth. These will hopefully add to the setting and overall planetary feel without having to detract from the stories themselves. I will also need to re-write the brief history of Iron Earth; which may or may not be included but will be worth writing regardless.
Also: There are plenty of bits that need sorting; I need help with the website, creating a draft front cover, and proof reading. I have people in mind but yes, lot's to be getting on with. I think I have a degree that needs finishing as well... The title, I am still struggling, to decide on.
And finally... I was thinking about creating a new blog which would feature flash fiction set on Iron Earth. It would include fiction related to a specific character or event or Iron Earth's history or perhaps nothing except that it is an occurrence on the planet that the novel doesn't delve into. I will look for feedback/advice from you fine people on this idea.
Thank you,
Alec:
The Tramp: I am very happy with this story, and on the whole it will remain unchanged. This was the first part that I wrote and seeing as I was seventeen/eighteen when I started; it is the part that will require the most rewriting from a technical point of view. There is also a few details to be added in the middle to help make the ending make more sense (The underground homeless network needs clarifying, for those who have read it.). However the plot and the characters I am happy with.
The Father: Will be renamed The Psychologist. This story is the strongest at the moment in terms of writing style and story elements. It needs little in the way of rewriting or changing but simply minor details to make it line up with the new ending.
The Siyon: Will be renamed The Gangster. Siyon is an English translation of the number four in Japanese and was part of an elaborate rank scheme for Arius's gang, which is no longer relevant. Oh and that’s right Arian is now Arius (In retrospect Ethan, Jonathan and Arian wasn't going to work, so they are now Ethan, Jon and Arius.). And I'm contemplating giving Arius a sex change; it may make things more interesting. Stylistically the writing will need some work but not much - unlike The Tramp - however, it will need the most changing plot wise, as there are many aspects that I am unhappy with. And some parts that are silly/weird/need elaboration.
The Nurse/Cure: This needs reworking and an extra 2000 or so words for the second draft, but for now I am working on it as part of my Creative Writing course so it is in good hands. I feel it works as a tie for the three novellas and leaves options open for a sequel!
Overall changes and other bits: There are several aspects throughout which will need altering in each story to create a better overarching theme. The multiple news stories will be more focused and mainly relating to the IDV4 disease; eluding to the climax of the book. I need to finally sort out the day and night structure of the planet, finally determining how long half-light lasts etc.
There are other small parts that need to be written, between each of the four stories is a spacer page, which will range from an informational poster about IDV4 to the entry sequence to incoming arrivals to Iron Earth. These will hopefully add to the setting and overall planetary feel without having to detract from the stories themselves. I will also need to re-write the brief history of Iron Earth; which may or may not be included but will be worth writing regardless.
Also: There are plenty of bits that need sorting; I need help with the website, creating a draft front cover, and proof reading. I have people in mind but yes, lot's to be getting on with. I think I have a degree that needs finishing as well... The title, I am still struggling, to decide on.
And finally... I was thinking about creating a new blog which would feature flash fiction set on Iron Earth. It would include fiction related to a specific character or event or Iron Earth's history or perhaps nothing except that it is an occurrence on the planet that the novel doesn't delve into. I will look for feedback/advice from you fine people on this idea.
Thank you,
Alec:
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