I'm Back! (In an Arnie voice) - A Brief Update

This blog, like many areas of my life recently, has been sorely neglected. Things have not been easy for a protracted period, but now it is time to take hold of the reins and steer oneself in the right direction once more.
Before this blog slipped into redundancy, hijacked by mood rather than purpose, it was a place to showcase, involve and indulge others in my progress as a writer. Having learned from past mistakes this it will not happen again. I aim to update this blog with quality essays and meaningful updates as fortnight-ly as possible henceforth; life allowing of course.

Preemptively forgive the exercise in gratuitous self-motivation that is to follow, but believe me when I iterate that it is needed at this point as everything I thought I lived for has been called into question and hope is a rare commodity.

When the future is in shadow, one can only look inside and ask themselves, 'Who am I?'.

In response I say, I am Alec Maynard, Iron Earth. I am a talented writer, a caring big brother, a passionate lover, a loyal best-friend and I can achieve anything.

Web-sighted!

I am proud to announce the launch of my brand new, personal website:

http://www.alec-maynard.com/

I would like to extend an enormous thank you to Lukas de Saint-Clair for building it from scratch for me. I owe him several beers and more. Working on the website with him has really helped my writing career and has given me something to focus on during tough times these last few weeks.


Other News:
- University is finished! With my final hand in due on Tuesday, my three years at Winchester have concluded. Now I can look forward to drinks with friends and writing until our results are released later in July.

- Iron Earth is nearly ready. With the conclusion of University it is time to for another redraft before the search for an agent begins. If you have any luck to offer it will be most appreciated, or even better, if you have any contacts to point in my direction that trumps luck any day.

- The Order, The Grand Hunt, The Bloody 13 and Virtually are in the works. I will try to focus on each alongside Iron Earth as the year goes on. Keep looking for updates here.

- More short stories on the way. I have three more in the works so look out for them on my Booksie or Deviantart pages.


The future is so hazy that when I try to look ahead I am blind. All I can do is stretch out my arms and clumsily feel my way forwards.

One in Two Rooms

Last night I had a dream that struck me so deeply that it left me numb. Most dreams are vague and impossible to recount however this one was especially vivid, completely engaging and rather surreal. Despite its poignancy it is still tough to put into words and may make little sense or won't come across the way it felt but it effected me enough to motivate me to try.

It began with me sitting in a room, waiting. It was an expansive and bright room with sliding patio doors, which allowed me to see out across a well kept plot of grass bathed in summer sunshine. I was there for a family holiday. I had arrived earlier with my girlfriend; we waited hand in hand. After some time, the family car pulled up and the rest of my relatives arrived; mum and dad, my brothers and grandma and grandpa. Dad entered the room to inform me that they were staying for the next three days and that they would be trying out all the rides that the resort had to offer -- this is one of those completely random dream elements; it makes little to no sense. From what I gathered we were in an all in one entertainment-theme park-resort-hotel-type-place. Obviously because of his frailty grandpa would stay in the shade of the waiting area were he would be content to sit and read his newspaper. I offered to keep him company whilst, with a deviously cute grin, my girlfriend took my younger brothers by the hand and led them out of a side door. Dad disappeared along with them and I was left alone wth my grandpa.

This was the point that the heavy metal and dubstep began the boom from speakers in the walls. My dear grandpa had always had trouble with his hearing for as long as had known him and the noise would make him agitated that blocked his hearing. He grumbled and fidgeted the way he always would, before becoming flustered and annoyed. I sat and watched him complain for them to 'turn the racket off', I likened him to a upturned tortoise. The noise continued unabated so he tried to stand up to leave. Grandpa always had the finest walking sticks but they alone weren't enough to help him stand up initially. I rushed over to help him but felt uncomfortable handling him, I helped him sit back down instead. He slowly calmed down and instead tried to talk to me. I told him how happy I was to see him then described my studies and what was happening in my life. I answered in tone louder than my comfortable speaking voice and still wasn't certain that he actually heard me but he nodded in appreciation and smiled and congratulated me on all my successes no matter how small -- he would always genuinely mean it too. I made him laugh and he took of his glasses to wipe the tears from his eyes, the same way he always did.

Soon my girlfriend returned - apparantly she had ridden on a chariot-log-chute-thingy - and I introduced her to grandpa as best I could over the music. He tried to compliment how beautiful she was and that he liked her dress and I nodded, grinning in agreement. He really liked her. She tried to respond but he couldn't really hear her. We continued our fractured conversation for a good while light faded from the window - I couldn't recall for the life of me what we spoke about, but it was a tender conversation - we had been in the room for hours, maybe even days, and the sky had turned into a warm thunderstorm.

I heard my grandma's voice call-out saying 'Michael' -- grandpa first name, in a high yet firm pitch that he would always hear. She told him it was time to go. This time with, a combined effort, we were able to raise him to his feet and he shuffled towards the door, walking sick in hand. He dissappeared past the door leaving me alone with my beloved girlfriend. She approached me, looking up at me with big pretty eyes -- I was a bit too tall for her. She then leant her head forwards and rested against my chest.
I embraced her, my actual chest burned and I could feel my heart thumping and my cheeks blushing. I was smiling I breathed deeply, inhaling the scent of her hair... it smelled musky...

... I began to wake and my heart sank. I wanted to cry out. I was lying in bed alone tightly clutching the corner of the duvet, which was pressed against my nose. I started to remember. I shut my eyes tightly and I was still alone in the room. Everyone had gone and there was nothing outside the window. I desperately searched for all of them but they were nowhere to be seen. I felt a tear on my cheek and opened my eyes once more. I thought I was still at home but I'm not, I'm in a my bedroom alone. My family isn't here.  I don't have a girlfriend anymore, I may never see her again. I don't have a grandpa anymore, I won't ever see him again. They would never meet.

I lay staring at the wall. It was raining outside, a grey and damp morning. Eyes open or closed I'm alone with past caricatures as my only company.

Found and Lost

I found love. I wasn't sure it was possible for a person such as me, but I found it. I had promised myself I would never let someone else in again, because it would only lead to pain, but I heard the promises she made to me and I truely believed them and forgot my own. I lowered my guard and let her in. She replaced the cold iron with burning warmth, it felt incredible. The strength, the confidence, the knowing someone wholely believes in you, it was the best feeling.

I found happiness. What I had discovered was a creature who had been abandoned, outcast by family and friends and had been hurt over and over. I found her and swore, all of that would change if she followed me, I would protect her, keep her company and make sure she smiled again, everyday. She did, she began to smile, and through the new-found strength I had nurtured in her, I became strong. When she smiled at me I found myself smiling back. In providing her a harbour, I no longer felt alone, and every time I gazed at her pretty face I felt warm. For the first time in many many years, someone I loved cared for me completely. We were each others all.

I discovered meaning in life. In travelling thousands of miles, in indulging in her world, her embrace, her lips, I discovered the purpose of existing. True joy, true heartbeats, true tears. An experience I will never forget. A love and affection I had previously only read about and scoffed at but had never felt in the flesh before. Then the time came for us to part and I think I broke her heart but promised to return, to rediscover what we had given up. It wasn't to be enough.

I lost it all. I gave her my everything but I could never give enough, I relaxed for a second, I blinked and it was all gone, she disappeared so suddenly. Can I blame her? No, I never would, because I care too much and only ask myself why it didn't happen sooner. Now nothing remains but the memories, a dull pain in my chest and questions. So many questions...

What if we were better placed? What if I had held her faith? What if I had been more demanding? What if I had imposed more restrictions? What if I had sacrificed more? What if I had tried harder? What if I had been a stronger person? What if I was more interesting? What if I was funnier? What if I wasn't so powerless? What if I was enough for her, to fill her entire heart, the way she filled mine? What if... what if I was mean't to be alone.

Forsaken by love I lie in bed, on my own again - she promised I would never be. Memories and the shards of those broken promises remain. Tears smother my vision as I blink and try to sleep. There is only one person in the entire world who can save me from this, but she won't come to my aid. She won't remember. She may miss me but she still has love, she will still feel anothers warmth, she will be looked after, and she will only continue to grow as I deminish into nothing. I repaired her wings and set her free but she flew away.

There are now so many clouds, but not one silver lining among them. I have pride for what we achieved, yet it all seems cold, like a medal against my chest. Once again I must walk alone, with the vague hope she will pity me and return. The vain thought that she will remember what we have together; that our love still burns strong. That she will realise her mistake, change her mind and return to me. Unfortunately, she will move on, replace our loss with anothers love and learn to fear or tire of me - as my own unrequited longing will turn me insane. Can love ever return between two people when it is damaged? If you are reading this baby, my love, please find me again and we can try, I will be here waiting and hold no grudge. I miss you.
I guess broken men never attract affection. Broken men only sink, and right now I'm drowning.

Iron Earth: Stage One Complete!

It is on this fine day that the first draft of my first novel, Iron Earth, is finally complete... again. It has only been six years coming but now, in the comforting warmth of Winchester Universities learning cafe, that the last word of the short story ending, The Nurse (Or The Cure, undecided) has been written. Thus begins the second draft. Here is a section by section breakdown of what still needs to be done:

The Tramp: I am very happy with this story, and on the whole it will remain unchanged. This was the first part that I wrote and seeing as I was seventeen/eighteen when I started; it is the part that will require the most rewriting from a technical point of view. There is also a few details to be added in the middle to help make the ending make more sense (The underground homeless network needs clarifying, for those who have read it.). However the plot and the characters I am happy with.

The Father: Will be renamed The Psychologist. This story is the strongest at the moment in terms of writing style and story elements. It needs little in the way of rewriting or changing but simply minor details to make it line up with the new ending.

The Siyon: Will be renamed The Gangster. Siyon is an English translation of the number four in Japanese and was part of an elaborate rank scheme for Arius's gang, which is no longer relevant. Oh and that’s right Arian is now Arius (In retrospect Ethan, Jonathan and Arian wasn't going to work, so they are now Ethan, Jon and Arius.). And I'm contemplating giving Arius a sex change; it may make things more interesting. Stylistically the writing will need some work but not much - unlike The Tramp - however, it will need the most changing plot wise, as there are many aspects that I am unhappy with. And some parts that are silly/weird/need elaboration.

The Nurse/Cure: This needs reworking and an extra 2000 or so words for the second draft, but for now I am working on it as part of my Creative Writing course so it is in good hands. I feel it works as a tie for the three novellas and leaves options open for a sequel!

Overall changes and other bits: There are several aspects throughout which will need altering in each story to create a better overarching theme. The multiple news stories will be more focused and mainly relating to the IDV4 disease; eluding to the climax of the book. I need to finally sort out the day and night structure of the planet, finally determining how long half-light lasts etc.

There are other small parts that need to be written, between each of the four stories is a spacer page, which will range from an informational poster about IDV4 to the entry sequence to incoming arrivals to Iron Earth. These will hopefully add to the setting and overall planetary feel without having to detract from the stories themselves. I will also need to re-write the brief history of Iron Earth; which may or may not be included but will be worth writing regardless.

Also: There are plenty of bits that need sorting; I need help with the website, creating a draft front cover, and proof reading. I have people in mind but yes, lot's to be getting on with. I think I have a degree that needs finishing as well... The title, I am still struggling, to decide on.

And finally... I was thinking about creating a new blog which would feature flash fiction set on Iron Earth. It would include fiction related to a specific character or event or Iron Earth's history or perhaps nothing except that it is an occurrence on the planet that the novel doesn't delve into. I will look for feedback/advice from you fine people on this idea.

Thank you,
Alec:

...

You met the most amazing person from across the pond. On the net you met, merely hours ago. Why are they even talking to you? You get on well, already you are as friends, a deep trust is forming. You laugh together long into the night, playing, teasing, exchanging stories, likes and hates, turn on's and off's. Could it be love at first sight? After wandering solo for so long, a strange joy seeps in and you cannot help but grin. You go to bed but stay connected on your phone, the conversation delves into the mechanics of your soul, this is as close as anyone has gotten to you since you can remember, the walls you have built over the years collapse and it all comes flooding out. Someone who finally cares about you, more than a friend. It cannot be, it's all so right.

Battery Low... off.

You stare at the black screen, they are gone.
You slowly pull your knees up to your chest and cradle them with your arms,
tears form and sting your eyes and pits singe your insides with icy chills.
You are lying in bed alone, all alone, the same as every other night.

Trip to Iron Earth

Panic flashed in Ethan’s eyes. A droplet of sweat ran down the base of his palm, then along the rock, and fell to the barren floor. Ethan held his breathe, closed his eyes and propelled by a burst of adrenaline lurched wildly towards Arian. The rock soared along the arc of Ethan’s flailing arm and flew down towards his exposed skull. Arian calmly and with inhuman agility chopped at Ethan’s exposed elbow; snapping the bone. Then a produced quick kicked with the side of his heavy boot, at the very centre of Ethan’s shin causing him to collapse. Drunk on psychotic fury, Arian kicked at the Ethan’s weak body as he desperately curled up and tried to move away. Arian then grabbed him in his creaking leather grip and threw him to the wall beside the bed, before pulling out another cigarette and breathing himself back under control. Ethan spluttered and coughed, spraying blood over a nearby collection of pebbles and granulated rocks strew out over the floor. He pulled his body upright and looked up at Arian.

Arian pondered for a few moments then collapsed onto folded legs. He stared intently at his crippled victim. Ethan’s eyeballs darted wildly inside his filthy face.

‘I like you,’ Arian announced. ‘You have a survivor’s spirit about you.’ Ethan chuckled and relaxed his muscles,

‘I don’t want pity from the likes of you.’

Arian stared at the weakened man. He had bags sitting on top of the bags under his eyes; they melded together in an orgy of sleepless nights. Ethan gazed at his assailant. Arian stared with unhealthy intensity at him, as a cat focused on its prey. He was however, clutching his leg; this man was human after all. Arian grunted,

‘I was shot. Unfortunately it is a common hazard in my line of work.’

‘And what is that? Are you yet another idiot scavenger who flew to close to the sun got his wings burned and now is stuck in quarantine with the rest of us unlucky few. I say few; it is becoming far more like many these days.’ Ethan stopped and recoiled in pain before bursting out in a flurry of coughs. ‘I used to have a drink problem. It’s nothing.’ Arian said nothing; he caressed his face. At this Ethan strained a chuckle through the pain.

‘You absolutely adore yourself don’t you?’

‘What would a gutless, pathetic parasite such as you, know of me? I have only chosen to spare you because killing you would be equal to killing a beetle that happens across your path in the street; I could easily take its life, but for what, a cheap omnipotence with a lesser species? A quick and futile buzz of divinity? No, this is not my method, besides; you should know the man who kills you.’ Ethan closed his tired eyes tightly and smiled,

‘As a matter of fact, I do recognize you. I have read a lot of discarded papers. You are Arian Covenant.’ Pride gripped Arian who caught himself smiling. ‘Thug, rapist, murderer. And you smile.’ Arian’s grin widened and his eyes narrowed.

Thank you for reading
Alec:


Meat 'N' Potatoes 'N' Iron Filings:
Current Project Round-up:
-The Bloody 13, status update:
Continuing from last week, I am posting the next character from the Bloody 13's crew. It have included my own [Terrible] sketch and a brief description. Below is how I picture all the basic uniforms to looks, so bare that in mind when you look at the sketches.

Bloody XIII Attire:
Hat, Trench Coat, Leather Gloves, Toe-Capped Boots (All Black). Band-over scarf (Red).

V
Code Name: Core

Looks: (The website won't let me upload the image so here is the link.)
http://alec4u.deviantart.com/gallery/32036776#/d46qxhs

Full Name: Benjamin Core

Description

One of Mort’s military companions, Core, is a devastatingly talented weapons specialist. His application for the SAS only failed due to toxins in his blood. These same simulants Core uses to enhance his body that makes him more dangerous. The most elite fighter of the Bloody XIII, he is revered and feared by all but AD and Mort.

Writing of the Week:
This week a short story:

One Night [Read]
There are a few clear points in all our lives, where life would have been completely different had you made a different decision. This short story follows both of these paths and hints that perhaps we do have a destiny and there is nothing that can change it no matter which path we choose.
Remember, the grass always appears greener on the other side.

Quote(s) of the Week:
"They say the world has become too complex for simple answers. They are wrong." ~ Ronald Reagan


Don't forget to bookmark this page, so you can check back in future. Iron Earth baby! =)